I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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