I have demons in me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
