I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
