Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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