I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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