I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
