Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
