How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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