just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
