Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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