I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she peed on how many people?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
