I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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