I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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