The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
