If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
