If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
