YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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