She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
