i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
