Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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