My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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