So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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