I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
