bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
