Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
