i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
