He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
