just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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