ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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