Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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