She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she told me i tasted like america
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
