plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
