Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
