you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
