For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
