I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
