Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
