Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize