I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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