At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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