Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize