the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
