At least make sure they are 18
Why
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize