Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
