I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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