hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
