so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
