Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i barfeds in our rink
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
