Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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