weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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