She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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