Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
