Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize