We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I want her autograph on my taint
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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