All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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