At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
