I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it's great music for shaving your balls
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
