Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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