is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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