just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
