Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize