i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
