I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As shirtless as possible
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
