You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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