once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
