so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
this will be a night to untag.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
