I can text with my tongue
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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