What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
